Monday, March 29, 2010

BUSY........What else can I say??

I honestly feel like there is not enough time in the day to be productive when you have 4 kiddos calling your name. My son Ryan says "MoM" about every other second of the day. It is like that is the only word he knows. He is the youngest of my four kiddos and the one that has put me through a lot when he was little. All I know is if I could do everything all over again with him, I would.

Ryan was somewhat of a challenge when he was little. He would cry a lot, tantrum for no reason, and would give me a hard time at any given moment. He had such a hard time with transitioning throughout his day. He was very clingy to myself and my grandma. We were the only two individuals that he wanted. I had to go through great lengths to put my son into a private school (the best choice I have ever made for him).... I wish I knew back then what I know now, I believe life would of been a lot better for everyone. I now know that Ryan has sensory issues going on and he always has. He has problems still at the age of 10 with putting toys in his mouth and always having to have a toy in his hand. I find him eating with his hands at times, whether it be applesauce, pudding, or fruit in a cup. I have to remind him that he can't do that, but it seems to become a habit for him at this point. I believe that his fascination for eating chicken nuggets daily has a lot to do with his manipulating something within his fingers on a daily basis. I find myself at times just sitting back and watching Ryan, making sure that I am not missing something....what that may be, I'm not sure. Anyway, we made it through and he is a great kid with a great attitude.......

Sooo, this past weekend I went with my oldest daughter to pick up her prom gown. I'm excited for her and I know she is as well. The only thing is that I know I am going to be that parent that cries. I will be the parent with tears rolling down her face and to my daughter...embarrassing!! I am that mom that cries at anything. My kids graduated kindergarten and I stood there and cried. I cry at school musicals and we all no how draining those can be with sitting there forever......I guess you can say, I'm an emotional person. My kids get the best of me and go right to the heart!!! I'm afraid to see myself at graduation next year, yeah can we say Total Basket case!!!!

Oh well, this mom is about ready to fall asleep.....still trying to figure out all this blogging info, I just wish I had a little more time to keep up!!! Talk to ya soon!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Gosh......I need to find the time...

I so need the time to get on here more. Kiddos have sports that started and I am running four nights a week. Don't get me wrong, I could not see it any other way. The only downside to the sports is having to deal with my ex and who wants to do that....I sure in the heck don't want bothered.

Still on a job hunt and I am getting no where with that. It is becoming frustrating and I am at a point I don't know what to do. I am looking everyday and nothing......I feel like a failure, I have a master's degree and I can't even get a call. I am thinking of going back to school for nursing, but that is up in the air at this point. It would make things a little difficult to attend school with my kids hitting the teenage years. I am not comfortable with leaving them at the house alone. The reason for that is they fight like crazy and I am more comfortable when I am here at home to referee 4 children. I would love to truly have a job that I can work within the home. I feel and yes, I can be wrong, but I feel it would help out with the kids....even more so in the summertime.

I am happy that Spring is here....I believe that the kids have cabin-fever!! I am sure I am not the only parent that feels that way. The kids need to run and let out all the energy that they have built up over time. I am starting to feel that way and I want to get out more. I wish I had the time to take a walk everyday or join the gym. There is a class that I would love to take, but again I can't leave the kids at home for longer then a half hour without someone wanting to kill each other.

So I have no kiddos this weekend, but a busy weekend that's for sure. Throwing a surprise baby shower for a friend at work tomorrow. She has no idea!! It is great that we have been able to pull this off. On Sunday, my Son is in a church play at his school. He is really excited......I am excited for him. The only thing is that he is on crutches....Isn't that great, he is going to stand out more ways then one.  Good Luck, Ryan!!!

Just watched "The Blind Side" and it was a great emotional movie. It shows people that it doesn't matter how much money you have, your heart is greater!! It is a movie that shows that no matter what side of the tracks your from, you can become somebody and change the lives of others. I really loved the movie and would watch it again.......

Hope to be able to get on here tomorrow.......Goodnight!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

So as I sit back and look at my oldest daughter drive for the first time, I sit back and I wonder where the time has gone. She is 17 and I have come along way as far as being on my own. We talk about her plans for the future and I can honestly say "she has a good head on her shoulders." I start talking to her about making something out of herself and not to depend on anyone, but herself. I told her that she does need to go to school and make a life for herself. I struggled throughout the years supporting myself and 4 children. Emily (my daughter) has seen the struggles and the things that we had to go without because the support was not there. It is frustrating that I can't just go out and buy what I want when I really need it. Yeah, I love to take my kids on a vacation to the beach or to Disney world. Those dreams seem to be so out of reach, it is depressing at times.

I separated from my abusive husband the end of August 2001 and it was the best decision that I ever made for myself and my kids most of all. Life can be rough, but you stand strong and move forward with a smile on your face. I moved my four children back to my hometown to have the much needed help from my mom and grandmother. They helped me out more then anyone will every know. We have had a lot of fun, great laughs, and some tough times. To me, that is just a part of life that everyone goes through time to time and it is how you deal with it what makes you in the end!!

At times I was working two jobs and I did put myself through college. In the end, I graduated with my MBA. Jobs are so hard to obtain at this time due to the economy, I am at a point of thinking of going back to school. It is just that I don't want to owe anymore loans. Nursing is something that has become of interest...It is just a matter of whether I can do it or not.

I hope that my hard work to keep my family together pays off in the end. I want my children to know that going to school is very important and finishing is the key element. I worked hard, I just want my kids to realize in the end...."My mom was the strong one!" Emily is strong in so many ways and she has been through a lot with me, but I have a strong feeling she is going to go far!!!! Make me proud Baby Girl!!!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Blogging and growing up......

I am learning a lot about blogging and what work best. I am just hoping that in the end, I can gain followers and get some much needed added feedback. I did go to Barnes and Nobles today, bought 2 books on blogging. I believe I will be there tomorrow to return one of those books.....It's not working for me!! Hopefully and my goal, by next week I will have a greater understanding of blogging all together!

So I get a text message from my 17 year old today.She informs me that she went with her dad to get her permit yesterday. I could not even respond to the message. All I could think of is her at the age of 5, playing with her dolls and dressing up. Her love for Barney and how she adored him for years. All I could think of was my little girl is now 17 and driving. Where did the time go?

When I went to pick my daughter up from her grandparent's today, the first she asked is if she could drive. I laughed a little and said "not right now" cause mom is not ready for you to be driving right at this moment. As we leave, she talked about how she was able to drive the past two days and how happy she was. She asked again if she could drive when we were half way home and she promised she would be okay.......So of course I let her!!! I was scared and worried, but honestly she did really well and I was impressed with the way she handled herself. I guess now there is no turning back and I have to let go..............to a point that is!!!!

Tomorrow, job hunting with my 2 older children.........Wish Me Luck!!!! 

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Day 3

Still trying to figure out this blog, not sure if I need to make changes or not. Still exploring new ideas......Possible trip to Barnes and Nobles to get some info on blogging.

Today was a laid back overall day. Went out with the family for dinner at Hoss's and back home for a nap. I will have more to write tomorrow.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Hmm........

Today was interesting.....I had taken the kids to the dentist and my son decided not to let the doctor numb him before they drilled his teeth. I tried to get him to let him numb his gums, but he refused. The doctor was amazed at how my son, Ryan just laid in the chair without any problems. It amazes me of how kids can handle certain situations and get through it without anyone getting hurt. All I know is that if that was me, they would be numbing my gums.....no questions asked!!!! The dentist chair is not my favorite place to be!

After work today, I had to take my 12 year daughter shopping for a bathing suit for a birthday party tomorrow. She is sooooo picky and does not like one piece bathing suits. We had looked at a few and as I listened to the sighs come out of mouth, I finally said......Let's go, pick one or I will pick for you and it will be the most ugliest one on the rack. Boy, we had a bathing suit picked out in 2 minutes!!! She tried it on and we where out the door.....Thank goodness!!!

I guess my day is complete....Kids are at their dad's this weekend and it is very quite in the house tonight............Hmm....I wonder what tomorrow may bring!!!! (Hint, Hint.....I trip to Vegas would be nice!!!!)

Day 2

Well it's day two of blogging. I am still trying to figure everything out and what I need to do to get followers. I am hoping by the end of the weekend I can get somewhere with all this blogging. I am hoping that my life will become interesting enough to blog daily......I have 4 kids, it's always interesting.

Today is a little busy, taking 2 kids to the dentist. Fun!!! Ryan, my 10 year old is not happy. I'm sure this appointment is going to be interesting. After the dentist appointment, it's back to work. In the office the rest of the day, no appointments for me to attend to.

Be back later..........

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Being a single has it's own balancing act. It can become trying at times and rewarding within that very breathe you breathe. I have four children and have been on my own since September 2001. We have gone through some hard times and have some laughs along the way. We are in the teenage stage for my 2 older children now and it has it's moments. They are mouthy and know everything. Your always wrong and can never do anything right in their eyes. It gets upsetting when your the parent that bust their butt to put yourself through school, work full-time, have your child in one sport after another, not receiving child support.......to only have your children tell you that they hate you or my favorite "Your the worst mother in the world!!!".......only giving me the chance to reply with "That's okay, you don't have to like me right now!!! I'm your mother, not your friend.....and I LOVE YOU!!" They then proceed with stomping of the feet, storm out of the room, and then a door slams.......Life as a single mom is great!!!!